The Confidence Gap

Reviewed By:

Scott Oeltjen

Rating:

***

Why Scott Read it?

Confidence. What is it? How do we get it? Why do some people seem to have so much more of it compared to others? I’ve always thought that confidence comes with skill or a mastery of some specific item that allows you to feel more comfortable when introduced to stressful or challenging situations. I hoped that this book would give me some additional tools to better deal with these situations and let me be at my best.

Scott’s Thoughts on the Book:

At first glance, I was not sold on this book. However, this was exactly what the author mentions so I figured that I needed to give it a chance. Once I finished, I was happy that I did. I went through a list of common problems that we all have along with specific tips on how to continually improve my confidence. It is always a work in progress.

My favorite section (that I took the time to reread) was about defusion. On page 82, Harris mentions that all defusion techniques involve one or more of the following steps. When a thought hooks us, we can:

1. Notice it
2. Name it
3. Neutralize it

He continues with a technique that is labeled “Leaves on a Stream”. This is where we visualize all our thoughts as leaves slowly moving down a stream. As you practice you realize that bad or uncomfortable thoughts are inevitable, but allowing these thoughts to come and then eventually go are important to your success.

Final Takeaway:

A simple example of how I used this skill was while I golf. I often would think about all things I did not want to do when hitting a shot. This would often flood my mind with negative thoughts. Even though it is important to review what hazards to stay away from, these negative thoughts would consume me.

I started to work my defusion skills to acknowledge these thoughts but then let go. This would allow me to refocus on what I wanted to do rather than what I didn’t. Did this make me a better golfer? Probably not. But it has improved my ability to let negative thoughts come and go without totally consuming me. Some days are better than others.

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I hope you enjoy the book!

Scott Oeltjen, PCR Business Systems

www.pcrbusiness.com

Finished reading The Confidence Gap and ready for the next book? Check out our review of The Fred Factor by Mark Sanborn.